I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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