was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
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So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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