I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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