I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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