According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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