let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize