At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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