Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
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There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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