it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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