Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize