That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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