we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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