Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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