Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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