I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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