if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize