I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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