i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize