Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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