i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize