Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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