dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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