it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All the doctor said was why
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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