I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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