What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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