yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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