so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize