We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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