Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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