Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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