guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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