Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize