I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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