that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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