how can u be prego again
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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