If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize