I wish I could punch you in the face.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize