Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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