He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize