I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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