Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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