There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm always down for nudity.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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