pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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