True but thats because hes a fetus.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize