I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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