I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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