my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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