That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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