No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize