I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
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He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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